on a trip
as you might know if you read this blog continuously, you’d know that i am flying out to san francisco on sunday with my sister. i have a terrifying fear of plane crashes and my anxiety rises more and more with each passing hour as we get closer to leaving. ironically enough, lost is my favorite television show, though i was unable to get myself to watch the opening minutes of its premiere episode due to mentally psyching myself out. any tips to having a smooth flight?
on assuming the worst but preparing for the better
my gram (mom’s mom) has recently fallen ill with what seems to be a common cold complete with fever. she will be turning 96 years old in a few weeks. for as long as i have known her, my entire life, gram has never been sick other than the total loss of feeling in her legs after a too-long period of time spent in bed after wrist surgery about ten years back. we all felt it necessary to move her up to long island from florida to be closer to us. an accomplished painter and poet, gram has always been feisty, witty, and intelligent. she may not know that she was the one who inspired me to become a librarian, saying throughout my life that “books are your best friend.” her geriatric home nominated her as adult education class valedictorian this year. talking candidly this evening about her current state of health, my sister expressed that she wasn’t ‘ready’ for gram to ‘go’ if her state worsened. with our impending vacation, she did not want to leave with the risk that something could happen to gram while we were away.
though i agreed with her, i couldn’t help but think that i was soulless for not getting overemotional. death hasn’t struck me much. i haven’t yet felt the pain of the loss of a loved one. i know that my grandma has experienced all that she ever could have in all of her many years; she is one of the wisest women i know and has taught my mom to be the same. on this issue, though, we must be realistic and i know that my parents are trying to do so as well. with old age comes the fact that life is fleeting. i cannot blind myself and live in a cloud of unicorns and fairy dust, assuming that those we love will be around forever to watch us grow, but i do not want to think of the worst. thinking of death forces me to lose sleep and concentration. i must be strong, for my family.
on being full of surprises
- sarazucker: do you know how much the drinks are?
- biteofpythias: let me get you something
- biteofpythias: what would you like?
- sarazucker: well, that's not what i meant when i asked, but, whiskey
- biteofpythias: i usually have mine with coke...
- sarazucker: i'll have it on the rocks, please
- biteofpythias: my respect for you increases every time i see you
on matching cocktails with your hair color
- betsy ordered a coconut martini
- i ordered an espresso martini
on the things currently going on in my life
- i am almost done packing for what is sure to be a whirlwind trip to the “other” coast with my sister. san francisco doesn’t know what’s coming.
- related to the above statement: i need to do a load of laundry.
- i may or may not be smitten, but i won’t say anything more about that. it isn’t your business. i could have a crush on strawberry licorice or buying a puppy or eating a grilled cheese sandwich. either way, you won’t find out.
- my lips are chapped.
- i broke one of my closet doors. sorry, dad.
- downy® wrinkle releaser® is the bomb.
on romantic feelings
- happycap: i mean, don't we all want love, love, love, love, crazy love?
- sarazucker: i'm not sure
- sarazucker: i have the feeling that love will just make me crazy
- sarazucker: period
- happycap: crazy in love
- sarazucker: or just love...in crazy
- happycap: crazy ain't always bad
- sarazucker: eh
- happycap: we'll all find somebody. and when we do, it's gonna be grrreat
- sarazucker: like tony the tiger
on the job search
- sarazucker: well, no one seems to want me, so who knows
- fek: you have to make those motherfuckers want you
- sarazucker: i've been trying, mom
- sarazucker: you can't put "great hair" on a resume
- fek: nope
- fek: but you can put "WILL KILL A MOTHAFUCKA" on there or something
- sarazucker: "THROWS A MEAN LEFT HOOK"
- sarazucker: and add in tiny letters "she is also ambidextrous"
- fek: yes! exactly
- sarazucker: okay, done, edited
- fek: "was present at rumble in the jungle" etc
- sarazucker: but that would be a lie - what if they fact-check?
- fek: then you're gonna have to call a guy
- sarazucker: my grandma lives in the bronx?
